Sunday, January 13, 2013



Donate your bondage gear
To the Goodwill.

Clean it first, please.
Scrub it for days
Recondition those leather straps
And cover them in leather polish
Until they have entirely
Discovered their leather-nature;
Until they are the most supple examples
Of leather restraints
That have ever existed.
Prepare them as you would
for the President of the
United States, if he said,
"The future of our country,
Nay, the world, depends
On these leather straps
Looking like new."
Also polish up the brass
But that goes without saying.

Finally the key here,
The really essential part
Of this entire endeavor
Is to find some way
To hide, sneak into,
Record, or otherwise spy
On the Goodwill recovery center.
Of course your label (when you write it)
Will describe it as leather bondage gear.
But they won't read it, they'll just
Assume they have another bag
Of old worn-out shirts.
Eventually some poor woman in her
Forties will open the bag.

I would like to think
She would say,
"My those are some handsome leather straps."
I would like to think
She would say,
"These would make a fine present.
I'm not entirely sure what this is,
But I want one."

Of course it's always possible
She will sigh, and say,
"Another set of bondage gear.
And never in my size."

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