Something a little more complicated I'm still working on

This is probably the most complicated thing I've done for a while. Still a work in process. Edited last 1/16/09

Lately
I've been crawling along, I guess.
And everybody's got advice:
They say to
Move more, eat less
Smile more, be less
Smile more, see less
Hold on, break less
Hide the flop sweat,
Grin till your teeth clench
Tight on your breath.
Don't call every day,
Don't look that way,
Don't be desperate
To grab hands, get numbers,
Make friends, make plans,
Be strong, learn how to live on your own.
Don't try so hard, you'll get over this.
I can barely see where I'll be when I get over this.
Light and happy, windblown, fancy free, made of gauzy transparency
Rising up and over my mortal locality
Covering all with calm geniality, smiling, inflating,
Rising and shading man woman and child with slight filmy webbing,
Rising; expanding over the moon, rising and growing,
Expanding to cover the planets, the sun;
Expanding to fill the spiral arm.
Moving over the galaxy, until I'm a dim sheen over all that man has seen and will see
And I'll be so large then, baby, you'll pass through me. So large and so gentle
You'll pass right through me and I won't feel a thing
I won't feel a tremor or wave or particle or anything
Not the smallest damn particle of feeling. I'll keep on moving, you'll keep on passing
Lately I guess that's where I'm crawling.

One Poem for a different Friend

OK John, this is for you. If you don't recognize the guy in the picture chalk it up to Narrator not being the Author or whatever, just please don't hit me, I'm delicate :)

Paper
I've always eaten it
You seem to be strangling in it
My friend, you're smoking ultra-lights like they're going out of style,
Pulling air like you'll draw their lives into your lungs
Angry like a madman and your speech is 'clipped'
Clipped but it sounds fine to me
This is how deep you've pushed it
Deep down you're so damn
Angry.

Two Poems for a Friend

These are both dedicated to Nicki. Actually they both started with the same line, and I fought the good fight in not making them about myself, and succeeded a bit better with the second than I did with the first.

---------------
Dreams I
I had a friend who would tell me her dreams.
Such a little thing for me; I knew their meaning
I was that arrogant.
Years pass and she's still cool and I
Am cold;
Looking in the North Pole for someone
With my ego to tell me
What my dreams meant, where did they go?

-----------------
Dreams II
I had a friend who told me dreams, late at night,
Years ago; and in my mind
She's calling, my hand warm on the phone,
Face flushed, lying down, saying
What it meant and means.
We were both dreaming carelessly
and talking silly nonsense about stupid stuff
I can't remember it now. She said,
"Can I kill you?" I said, "Yes, I'll write a note."
That's our friendship, who we were,
Careless, ceaseless. Reading the poetry I wrote
It was too long, singsongy, and crappy. She told me so.
Who the hell else could have told me so!
I told her one time I was going home
And then followed her to the next spot, she didn't notice
I was so proud of myself for my cleverness
She actually seemed surprised. There weren't many times
I got the better of her!
My whole life, I guess.
Well we all have these friends we wish we were,
Stronger, faster, smarter, lives like a muscle car,
All we can do is stop and stare
We all have these friends, and sometimes in a long time
You find one that cares -
One that is a real friend back for you
And she is that, has that, and so my friend I dedicate this crap
To you.

today's random thought

I am

I am nursing a cinder on my front porch
It's raining down the steps and on the street.
I'm cold up here but it's dry at least.

Indoors Wesley Snipes makes love to Claudia Schiffer and I have work to do.

a 'Persona 3' poem

Every night at midnight

Every night at midnight we blow our brains out.
I'm breezing through high school feeding your
Egos, but I only need so much from you.
Three girls at a time, what a life this is!
The year passes quickly, the blue wings fall silently.

wrote these jan 4th 2009

One

One is enough numbers.
Count it quickly
and go home.

---

"Sometimes I'm a"

Spider crawling southward on the wall
to a warm crack on the wall
Where the heater blows.

---

Western Sheets

"You brought these sheets into the relationship, you take them out."

"Ok."

Some poetry I wrote more than ten years ago

I found an old notebook in a jacket and went through it, here are two poems that probably shouldn't see the light of day but hey, this is the next best thing.

----------------------

Actors are untrustworthy.
I have to thank the hands
that catch me, every
night, in the darkness,
and pass me to the exit.
When the lights come up I'm in my place.
Who guided me?
Someone I cannot tell,
One of many.

-----------------------

A little bit of potatoes,
a single broccoli
on a plate.
Unasked for
but as much as
anyone
could ask.