Mid Afternoon

Mid Afternoon

rain drops glisten on the sidewalk
worms writhe half-cut by boots.

Sunlight glares over the suburbs
in impotent anger, drying well-cut
lawns. The air's a soupy mess.

the blocks between bus stop and home
sweat as I do, smothered with apprehension-

Bus Seats

Bus Seats

Mesmerized by bus seats, I watched
Monsters rise from wrinkled vinyl.

I stared at cracks in concrete
When I walked, a little boy
Studying geomancy in miniature.

In my heart I live in EE Doc Smith's
Vision of the future;
I believe any competent mind should
See the world in a pot shard.

Tongue Sandwiches

Tongue Sandwiches

Telling you the tongue sandwich story
I realized it wasn't funny, it was sad
As if I were dragging my guts behind me.

And when you joked that I cry more
Than you do, I froze up. You said,
"What's wrong?" I said, "I used to cry a lot.
He would say, 'Stop crying. If you don't
I'll make you cry. I'll give you a reason.'"

Ramón and I

Ramón and I

I dreamed you were taller and your hair
Fell in golden rings around your shoulders.
You told me about the man you were meeting
Later, the man you love, and I was angry,
I said, "Wait, but what about me..."

I dreamed I lived in a house with people whose names
Kept changing. I told them I was Ramón
So I could put his suits on. They sent me to his
Meeting at eleven but at the last second
I said, "Wait, I can't go. I'm not Ramón."

A giant dinosaur head looked through
Your blinds, and I was so scared I woke up
And told you my dreams. Of course I couldn't explain
What was so straight in my mind.

Of course my dreams make no sense. The details
I know stand alone, the setting and plot
Still need to be worked out. I don't even
Know what to call it, I need help for that.

Helpless

Helpless

You drown in your pillow,
Shaking with sobs.
Holding your soft flesh, gently,
My hands are useless, empty,
I am helpless.
The next day I'm anxious,
Worried, distracted, watching
The clock, waiting to see
The proof of your fears-
"There there," I tell you, and
"Tomorrow will be better."

Headaches

Headaches

Massaging my grandfather's head
With a damp hand towel, I think how easy this is,
A moment under the sink, pop it into the microwave,
Hey presto, perfect for warming your skull,
Pushing heat into your forehead, relieving
Some pain (but not all) of your migraine.
Gently I move it around; he says "So good, so good."

Is that really all it takes?
Could I have solved everything that way?

My ex-wife's migraines were so
Bad she'd claw at her eyes, put pencils in the sockets,
Scream at anyone nearby, cry, attack the furniture,
Cause fights, break up plates, bite.
What if I had tried dampened, warm towels, would that
Have made it right? Nine years of marriage, and
That I never tried?

My Dream

My Dream

Last night when you
Came to bed I had the
Best dream I've ever had.
I mean this is kind of sad
But for me this was
Better than eating candy.

I was in high school again
And playing D&D at a friend's
House. Actually I had been
Waiting for the game to start
For a long time. All of a sudden
The DM came in the kitchen and
Told us we could start at
Sixth level. Sixth level! I would
Be starting with third level spells!
He warned us it was a gritty urban
Campaign so I shouldn't take any
Spells that were too flashy. I was
Already planning out what to take,
In my dream (probably fogs and gases,
Enchantment, confusion type spells).

I called my mom and dad and told them
I wouldn't be coming home till late.
All of a sudden I realized I was
Living at home and had no responsibilities,
Just a long, fun game to look forward to.

Anyway I wanted to tell you about this
Dream. Not to warn you I'm a huge nerd
Even in my imagination (which I think
You already knew) but so you know
What I felt like when you came to bed-
That feeling of holding you again
Was like the best kind of night
I've ever had. And best of all
It really happened.