Closet Romantic

That Romantic Bastard

What the hell did you do girl,
What did you do?
You let that bastard out of his cage
And now he's ruining my life again.

He was locked behind five-inch thick bars
Chained to the wall, beaten and starved
I would walk up the stairs once in a while and
Heap abuse on him.
"Ha ha ha, monster! You're rotting in hell
And I'm in charge now, I'm in charge!"

But then you walked in my house
Went up and unlocked that door
(I told you not to open that door)
And - well, it was all over but the tears.

He's in the driver's seat, chuckling to himself.
I'm in for one hell of a ride -
And in the end, there's no doubt,
I'll wake up on the same cold hillside

With that bastard, exhausted, right next to me.
Is there any wonder I keep him locked up?