Ducks

Ducks

When we talk ducks will
Suddenly bob up as if
Returning from a riverbed.

I bought her thirtieth
Birthday present in my head
Three days after our
First date. Two weeks later-
No second date- I went ahead
And bought it anyway.

She's nervous, busy, afraid
To see me. I tell myself
Someone I can't see that cares
Is better than someone who doesn't
And is always there. But I
Have to convince myself
Like a lawyer with a weak case,
Waving his arms and winking at the jury.

Conversation is a dive into deep
Water. I lose track of time, air,
Myself sometimes. I tell myself
I need more than this and then
Find myself compulsively making sure
Of her presence like a diver checking
On his air. It terrifies me
I might be this deep and run out.