So much energy (part II)

You're the scent of the
First cigarette in the pack -
Watching you walk, tasting musky
Smoke curl around my tongue -
You stretch like a cat.
I am undone.

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Stage Rehearsal

We're a line off today, all out of order.
Stage left's swapped with right - all the action's
Backwards now so we're facing the door.
Exit center left. Walking into the audience,
Applauding for them - they think it's too much.
After some business - you died so prettily -
I finally remembered to put in the knife.
Before we knew it the play'd begun with all our entrances -
Well, that's how it's supposed to go in dress!
But now I'm pacing back and forth trying
To forget my lines. I'm worried 'bout auditions -
What were we doing again?
I hope this time
I make it in.

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My roommate's cat

He has lymphoma - cancer in his gut.
And he can feel it - crying around the house.
Coming to me, squalling, looking for
Help and all I can think is -
You poor dumb bastard, covered with sores,
What the hell did you ever do
To deserve having me taking care of you.

Lots of energy today

I've had a lot of energy today and yesterday. Getting caught up on a lot of things - this blog among them.
I've written a lot of poetry lately but didn't get a chance to polish it up / post it.
So I may actually end up needing to break up this entry.

At the Reading

Yeah, I went to the goddamned reading.
I'm telling you I was there. You didn't see me.
Well no wonder. The place was packed. I mean
There were a lot of goddamned people there.
All over the damned chairs - I ended up
Squinched up on the floor, one leg on another,
In the goddamn corner. I was looking at one guy's
Ass the whole performance. And it was not a great
Ass you know, it was not an ass I would pay to
See. I never knew there were so many damned white
Writers in Hampden, much less Baltimore. I mean
They were all white and most of them had glasses.
It reminded me of Avniel (the whitest Indian you'll ever
Meet) who said he was scared to walk around in Hampden
After dark. I think these were the people he was
Afraid of. And they sat so goddamn quiet. Like they
Were watching an old man try to stand up after
Sitting in the corner. One leg at a time.
Like they were watching the dead
Get up and goddamn say the Lord's Prayer.
That goddamn quiet. Well I got up at the
Break - I was ready to say the Prayer myself -
And limped out of there. I'm not sure they moved.
I tell you what, go back and check. They may still be
Packed in there. Tell you what I hope they are.

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Playing Craps

I'm laughing, see, cause I like you.
I like everybody, but I'm playing with you.
We've got a great game here, kid. Don't screw it up for us.
We're all playing. Can you keep it in the game?
Can you keep on smiling when you lose your shirt?
Keep your goddamned sense of humor if you can.
Are you laughing yet?

Meditation on Selfishness

Well, so I was having a conversation with someone yesterday and I was thinking about it today, during a meeting. So it turned into this, whatever this is. Definitely a change of pace from my usual stuff.

Meditation on Selfishness

Today you wanted to know - why am I concerned,
Why do I care, in my own words,
About "too many people." Why do I ask
"How are you? How are you doing?" when I know
You're not doing that well, it's been rough going.
Why do I ask about your father, brother, sister,
Cat, dog, mother, grandfather, goldfish.
I'm reaching out - it's not altruistic -
I've had some losses lately, not sure if you remember,
I lost a cat, my grandmother, a marriage
And all the things I had invested in it -
A home, some pets, some thoughts about myself,
A woman I loved ten years ago. I maintain
She left me long before I knew. But I
Digress. Why am I here, why am I bothering you?
I'm looking for attachments, tossing ropes as they rush past,
Drifting along in my little boat, trying
To hold on, find something, someone to care about.
And so my friend, I need to help you if I can.
If I spare you pain I help myself; what I do
Helps myself more than it helps you. I'm selfish that way,
Redeeming myself a bit each day, some part of myself,
Proving there are people worth caring about.

tarot-influenced writing exercise

Today was a Tarot-influenced writing exercise - we picked cards off the top of the deck and they 'told stories.' And you know what's funny was this was a hippie kind of deck and we all wrote these new-agey poems. So yeah, another set of poems that have nothing to do with me - I mean, I wrote them, but they actually sort of wrote themselves. And the card they're from is the title of each.


I. The Tower

In the beginning the waters broke
And I exploded. I was cast
Out; I lost my home.
Holding tight to the shell,
Adrift on the waves,
Surrounded by televisions,
Glassware, curtains, rods
And wheels, gasoline canisters,
Old dirty steamers, knives
And dishes, they floated
Every way on the water,
They were lost with me.
---

II. Four of Swords (nest)

Then it was curious how
The waters subsided.
My house-shell rocked
And floated me gently;
My hands were loose, my
Grasp let go, I collapsed
And rocked in
The river. I no longer
Looked at the water, I looked up -
And the night
Sky filled with stars.
---

III. Ten of Cups (calm)

They move deliberately
Away from each other;
I've lost distinction whether
I'm in the sky or the river.
I may be in both places -
I don't look up for patterns
Or faces; I know I have
A destination and a plan.
I've come to love this
Slow journey outwards,
This expansion.
---

IV. Two of Pentacles (root)
I'm feeling snags now
On the bottom, slowing down,
Coming to a rest soon -
And above me, the dawn
Is erasing my little lights
Softly pulling in the bright
Sky-candles, infiltrating the night.
Just above me, I can see
A great-grandfather of a tree
I'm twisting, turning in
Mossy green toes.
And then I come to rest.

Barstool Poetry

Some random crap I've written on barstools around Baltimore.

-----
It was a night for promises.
We knew someday beer, salsa, and even chips would arrive, or so we hoped.

-----
Doing what's natural,
Drinking as normal,
Walking from bar to bar-
-------------------------------

Ok, a couple of real poems. But they were both written in bars so they count as barstool poetry.


I'm joining a new forum and I want to be a popular guy like everybody else on this forum

I need another name
That's not my real name
I'll find a new name
To show the real me
So they all know me
And they'll refresh me
And they will want to see
What I am saying
I'll have so many friends
They will be endless
And they'll all know me
They'll know my real name

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This next poem is totally Suzanne X's fault because she showed me something and said "Wow somebody should write a poem about this," and then I did. And now everybody hears this poem and they say "Wow, that's really sad / depressing." And I just want to say, "Yes, but it's all Suzanne's fault and I bear no responsibility whatsoever."

Poem for a dead ant in a candle

Drowning in hot wax
I inhale your love
The hot lava of your smile
Is burning my lungs
My stomach is full of fire
The wax covers my eyes
I'll stare at you forever.

Writing Exercises

So... this is a fun exercise we did at Zelda's last Sunday. Write a few 'writing exercises.'

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Writing Exercises

Part I

You need a new name that's not your real name. Your name (not your real name but the new name) should make a statement about yourself (not your real self) others will find clever, perceptive, and revelationary. Your new name (not your real name) should contain no part of your real name. Viewers of your new name should engender an idea of your personality which reflects in some way your actual personality; so that in future these viewers, upon interacting with you, will recognize your actions as being "so [new name]!"

Part I A

For bonus credit, create a new face that's not your real face. You may use any picture so long as it does not resemble your real face.

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Part II

Write a letter (in 500 words or less) in which you explain to an old friend that you no longer wish to associate with them. You must use words which are clear, concise, and leave no room for error. The purpose of this letter is to get mutual friends entirely on your side.

Part II A

For bonus credit, replace all use of the words "friend" and "friends" in Part II with the words "relative" and "relatives."

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Part III

Describe in great detail, omitting no action, how you dance when you go out dancing at clubs.

Part III A

You observe a young lady (or young man if such is your preference) with whom you'd like to form a closer acquaintance. Describe how this affects your dancing.

Part III B

A young man (or young lady if such is your preference) seems interested in you; you are not interested in a closer relationship with them. Describe how this affects your dancing.

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Part IV

Write a poem intended to be inscribed on bathroom walls. Ensure it includes no reference to sex or male or female organs of any kind.

Part IV A

For bonus credit, alter your poem so it becomes a request for a blowjob.

first post in March

And why is this the first post in March?
Anyway my next thing is long so I figured I should put this poem in here. Just a quick thing.

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I met a girl with a
dog today. she was outside
the house as if she were
waiting for me.
The dog was laughing.