Writing Exercises

So... this is a fun exercise we did at Zelda's last Sunday. Write a few 'writing exercises.'

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Writing Exercises

Part I

You need a new name that's not your real name. Your name (not your real name but the new name) should make a statement about yourself (not your real self) others will find clever, perceptive, and revelationary. Your new name (not your real name) should contain no part of your real name. Viewers of your new name should engender an idea of your personality which reflects in some way your actual personality; so that in future these viewers, upon interacting with you, will recognize your actions as being "so [new name]!"

Part I A

For bonus credit, create a new face that's not your real face. You may use any picture so long as it does not resemble your real face.

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Part II

Write a letter (in 500 words or less) in which you explain to an old friend that you no longer wish to associate with them. You must use words which are clear, concise, and leave no room for error. The purpose of this letter is to get mutual friends entirely on your side.

Part II A

For bonus credit, replace all use of the words "friend" and "friends" in Part II with the words "relative" and "relatives."

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Part III

Describe in great detail, omitting no action, how you dance when you go out dancing at clubs.

Part III A

You observe a young lady (or young man if such is your preference) with whom you'd like to form a closer acquaintance. Describe how this affects your dancing.

Part III B

A young man (or young lady if such is your preference) seems interested in you; you are not interested in a closer relationship with them. Describe how this affects your dancing.

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Part IV

Write a poem intended to be inscribed on bathroom walls. Ensure it includes no reference to sex or male or female organs of any kind.

Part IV A

For bonus credit, alter your poem so it becomes a request for a blowjob.